First the positives, I am totally ok with a race of aliens with numerous subspecies. It seems logical to assume that some plants would have multiple races reach sentience somewhere in the galaxy. Now having five at once may be pushing it, but whatever, it makes them interesting at least. The negative on this episode is of course Archer. He really isn't the sharpest tool in the shed so sending him on a mission to solve a mystery may not have been the smoothest move in Starfleet history. It is especially lame when he can't figure out that the laborers are slaves. I mean, their boss handed you a finger to prove the guy you are looking for is Xindi, do you really think the guy gave up up voluntarily. Sure, he said it was an accident, only Archer would be dumb enough to believe something like that. Also this episode has the problem of bringing in "the military." With all the ranks and orders and stuff I was pretty sure Starfleet was already the military. Why not just make them the marines? I guess so they can maybe turn out to be bad guys? Not really sure on this one.
We open roughly where we left off but start by seeing the Trip is having a rough time with the loss of his sister and the marines have arrived to help with the operation (I am just going to call them marines since that is the role they are playing). Archer has tracked down a miner who claims to have a Xindi worker they can talk to but when they arrive he demands liquid platinum and offers them the guys finger to prove he isn't lying. They come up with the payment and find the guy who is pissed that they paid to have his thumb cut off. He also demands his freedom in exchange for the information since he is a slave. This is shocking news to Archer, shocking I say! Also it turns out the head miner is planning to conscript the lot of them so Archer agrees to help the guy. They start sneaking out when they realize they are all prisoners now but get caught. Luckily Malcolm and the marines arrive and save the day, but the Xindi guy gets shot. He dies on Enterprise, but not before telling Phlox where his planet is. The only problem being when they arrive they find only a debris field. We cut to the Xindi counsel however who are sure this is just a Starfleet scouting expedition and decide to remain in hiding. Enterprise heads deeper into the expanse as we cut to credits.
Review: A new version of the crappy opening theme isn't enough to save this one. Having a scene where T'Pol gets topless for no reason didn't really help either.
3 out of 10
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Monday, January 30, 2017
ENT: The Expanse
This may not have been a great episode, but I am actually strongly in favor of the idea to make the next season about something rather than just wandering aimlessly. Trek has been strong both ways in other series so it isn't a universal preference, but ENT has been so bad so much of the time I am hoping this gives the writers the focus they need to maybe make things more interesting. At the same time, when you have Archer say for maybe the 10th time, "oh yeah, but Vulcans don't believe in time travel," you have a problem. The Vulcans are supposed to be super logical and in general everything else in Trek supports this. But for some reason despite clear evidence right now they have doctrinally decided time travel doesn't exist exists. EARTH TO STAR TREK WRITERS, THIS ISN'T LOGICAL. So yes, I will, with reservations, say that this episode seemed like a step forward for ENT.
We open with an alien probe showing up at earth and blasting a swath from Florida to Panama (they say Venezuela in the ep, but the effects shot shows the swath going across Panama into the Pacific Ocean so even if it hit land again, that would be in Columbia, not Venezuela. But I guess checking a map would be too hard for them. Back on ENT the news hits hard, especially for Trip whose sister lives in Florida. The ship is called back to earth but they are intercepted by Suliban who grab Archer and make him talk to future guy. Future guy insists the attack was by the Xindi who learned from another faction that earth will destroy them in 400 years so they have decided to destroy earth. Cut back to Enterprise where they have continued to earth only to face an attack by Klingons determined to get Archer on the way back. Reinforcements arrive though and drive off the attackers.
Arriving at earth no one listens to Archer since he has to be a martyr. Even after he shows that parts of the probe are from the future no one listens to him and the Vulcans even surreptitiously send a psychologist to evaluate Archer. But since Archer is always right Starfleet eventually grants his request to take Enterprise out to something called the the Delphic Expanse which the Vulcans are terrified of to look for the Xindi. More attacks by the Klingons and T'Pol resigning her commission so she can stay on Enterprise later we have hit the end of season two.
Review: A pretty traditionally bland ENT to set up a bigger story that I really hope manages to elevate the show. But really I have my doubts.
3 out of 10
We open with an alien probe showing up at earth and blasting a swath from Florida to Panama (they say Venezuela in the ep, but the effects shot shows the swath going across Panama into the Pacific Ocean so even if it hit land again, that would be in Columbia, not Venezuela. But I guess checking a map would be too hard for them. Back on ENT the news hits hard, especially for Trip whose sister lives in Florida. The ship is called back to earth but they are intercepted by Suliban who grab Archer and make him talk to future guy. Future guy insists the attack was by the Xindi who learned from another faction that earth will destroy them in 400 years so they have decided to destroy earth. Cut back to Enterprise where they have continued to earth only to face an attack by Klingons determined to get Archer on the way back. Reinforcements arrive though and drive off the attackers.
Arriving at earth no one listens to Archer since he has to be a martyr. Even after he shows that parts of the probe are from the future no one listens to him and the Vulcans even surreptitiously send a psychologist to evaluate Archer. But since Archer is always right Starfleet eventually grants his request to take Enterprise out to something called the the Delphic Expanse which the Vulcans are terrified of to look for the Xindi. More attacks by the Klingons and T'Pol resigning her commission so she can stay on Enterprise later we have hit the end of season two.
Review: A pretty traditionally bland ENT to set up a bigger story that I really hope manages to elevate the show. But really I have my doubts.
3 out of 10
Sunday, January 29, 2017
ENT: Bounty
I saw the episode title and it instilled hope in a way I haven't felt in a long time. My hope was that maybe the crew would finally mutiny against Archer and the rest of the series would be Trip's cruise to Risa. But no, this is about Archer's escape from prison catching up with him when a bounty hunter manages to capture him easily. It seems pretty obvious that the Klingons wouldn't give up on someone escaping from their infamous prison system so of course they sent a bounty hunter. Luckily for them Archer is also an idiot who doesn't bother with security so he is easily grabbed from his own ship with no more than a hand phaser. Unfortunately most of the rest of the episode is Archer-centric with just a few interludes of the B story about T'Pol getting sick and having Pon farr show up out of nowhere because ENT.
We open with Enterprise hanging out at an unoccupied planet doing some exploring and shore leave. They encounter a Tellurite vessel that seems hostile at first, but then turns friendly. The captain (and sole occupant) is named Skalaar and he offers to come aboard to give them tips on cool places to visit. Archer and Trip head to the airlock to meet him but he guns them both down and leaves with Archer. They rush to get the away teams back only when they arrive T'Pol and Phlox have caught an alien infection of some sort and must stay in decon. Meanwhile Archer learns Skalaar is a bounty hunter and he is being taken back to the Klingons. There is a lot of Archer moralizing at the guy which of course works because the writers just love Archer. After messing around and ending up on a planet for a while which doesn't serve the plot at all they get back underway and Archer finally convinces Skalaar that the Klingons are no good. Skalaar turns him in and gets his cash (less than promised because Archer has to be right). Archer manages to easily escape and even wins a fist fight for once. All this time T'Pol has been having premature Pon farr for the purposes of comedy and Trip has been failing to save the day.
Review: Way to much Archer for me to be able to take it seriously, especially since this is all about him proving what a good guy he is while not really acting like all that good a guy. Pretty average for ENT honestly.
4 out of 10
We open with Enterprise hanging out at an unoccupied planet doing some exploring and shore leave. They encounter a Tellurite vessel that seems hostile at first, but then turns friendly. The captain (and sole occupant) is named Skalaar and he offers to come aboard to give them tips on cool places to visit. Archer and Trip head to the airlock to meet him but he guns them both down and leaves with Archer. They rush to get the away teams back only when they arrive T'Pol and Phlox have caught an alien infection of some sort and must stay in decon. Meanwhile Archer learns Skalaar is a bounty hunter and he is being taken back to the Klingons. There is a lot of Archer moralizing at the guy which of course works because the writers just love Archer. After messing around and ending up on a planet for a while which doesn't serve the plot at all they get back underway and Archer finally convinces Skalaar that the Klingons are no good. Skalaar turns him in and gets his cash (less than promised because Archer has to be right). Archer manages to easily escape and even wins a fist fight for once. All this time T'Pol has been having premature Pon farr for the purposes of comedy and Trip has been failing to save the day.
Review: Way to much Archer for me to be able to take it seriously, especially since this is all about him proving what a good guy he is while not really acting like all that good a guy. Pretty average for ENT honestly.
4 out of 10
Saturday, January 28, 2017
ENT: First Flight
When it started it seemed this was going to be an episode about someone Archer admired and I was thinking, "ok, this might be ok, we might even see him learn something." But no, it turns out he admires the guy so much for letting Archer teach him how to be awesome. And not really that either, but I think that is what we are supposed to take from it. The fact that this is a 90% Archer episode is really going to hurt the score. It is totally unclear why he leaves Trip behind both times, he clearly could have used an engineer, especially in the flashback bit, but whatever, Archer is right, and when he is wrong that just means he is double right. Fuck this show.
We open with Archer getting news that a collegue has died mountain climbing. Meanwhile Archer is determined to prove those dumb Vulcans wrong again by discovering dark matter or something. They have found a nebula he is sure will do the trick and has Trip rig up some bombs to make it visible. Archer is determined to go alone on the shuttle to find the nebula but T'Pol just makes up a rule about captains not being allowed off the ship alone (which is about the least supported by other Trek or even ENT episodes as to be literally laughable) but since she is I guess important to have there to hear Archer's story of heroism. It turns out Archer was on the first warp 2 test program but missed out on the chance to go on the first test flight. The guy who did is the one who died in the opening. It seems he refused to shut down the engine and cost the program a ship which of course almost got the Vulcans to shut the whole thing down somehow. Trip shows up hating Vulcans and determined to solve the problem so when Archer decides to steal the other ship along with the other guy they leave Trip behind to get arrested on earth instead of getting to go on the historic flight and maybe save their asses since he is the one actually getting the engine to work. It works and despite stealing a ship and being total assholes Archer is the hero. Also they prove the Vulcans wrong and find dark matter, but that wasn't really in question.
Review: I am not sure I can like Archer any less, but they seem determined to try. Really hoping next season is enough different from this garbage to make me not dread my nightly Trek as much.
2 out of 10
We open with Archer getting news that a collegue has died mountain climbing. Meanwhile Archer is determined to prove those dumb Vulcans wrong again by discovering dark matter or something. They have found a nebula he is sure will do the trick and has Trip rig up some bombs to make it visible. Archer is determined to go alone on the shuttle to find the nebula but T'Pol just makes up a rule about captains not being allowed off the ship alone (which is about the least supported by other Trek or even ENT episodes as to be literally laughable) but since she is I guess important to have there to hear Archer's story of heroism. It turns out Archer was on the first warp 2 test program but missed out on the chance to go on the first test flight. The guy who did is the one who died in the opening. It seems he refused to shut down the engine and cost the program a ship which of course almost got the Vulcans to shut the whole thing down somehow. Trip shows up hating Vulcans and determined to solve the problem so when Archer decides to steal the other ship along with the other guy they leave Trip behind to get arrested on earth instead of getting to go on the historic flight and maybe save their asses since he is the one actually getting the engine to work. It works and despite stealing a ship and being total assholes Archer is the hero. Also they prove the Vulcans wrong and find dark matter, but that wasn't really in question.
Review: I am not sure I can like Archer any less, but they seem determined to try. Really hoping next season is enough different from this garbage to make me not dread my nightly Trek as much.
2 out of 10
Friday, January 27, 2017
ENT: Regeneration
When it first started I was hella worried that this was going to take place on earth AND be about the Borg and thus ruin the timeline. Luckily both those concerns were relatively invalid. Having a few Borg get frozen somehow from the events of First Contact was a clever way to get just a few Borg in for a story without totally ruining the rest of Trek. Seemed kinda unreasonable the Zefram Cochrane talked about it, but maybe Picard did a poor job explaining to him how it was important to not totally destroy the timeline. Presumably this only happened to allow the writers to point out that these are the Borg from the movie though which actually makes me more ok with it. Finally, ending with a 200 year signal being sent to the Delta Quadrant was a nice way to make the episode feel like it had consequences again without ruining things.
We open in "the arctic" but I guess maybe there aren't countries any more so whatever. A research crew (a hella heavily armed research crew which is never explained since there are no countries) finds two frozen Borg along with some debris. They take them inside and thaw them out. After performing some scans and leaving one of the scientists alone with them one of the Borg wakes up and jams him with nano prods. The rest of the researchers show up but their weapons are ineffective. Cut to Enterprise where they get news that the Borg (a name which is never spoken, yay for that) have stolen a ship and modified the engines so it can travel at warp. Of course they for some reason head straight for Enterprise so they are ordered to intercept. They find the Borg ship attacking a transport ship and only manage to save two people from it. But they are infected with nanoprobes. Phlox tries to treat them but when they awaken he is injected with the probes. Luckily for everybody on Enterprise the assimilation doesn't work quickly on him. The Borg get to work on Enterprise and manage to infect many systems and make Borg stuff appear out of nowhere. Malcolm and his team try shooting the drones but their weapons are useless so Archer has them evacuate and he blows the hatches flushing is recent crew into space.
Archer is clearly upset by this and is determined to try and get back the researchers from earth. He has Malcolm modify phase pistols to pack more punch and comes up with a plan to get onto the Borg ship and disable it from the inside. Their weapons work at first but of course the Borg adapt. While they are fighting Phlox has come up with a plan to kill the probes with a lot of radiation. Of course this isn't going to be easy on his body, but he is starting to hear the hive mind and acts quickly. Archer and Malcolm find one of the researchers and Archer realizes she is no longer human and decides they have to just destroy the ship. They plant a bomb before beaming back just as Trip gets weapons working on Enterprise. Luckily for them (and for no clear reason) the drones who had recently beamed to Enterprise beam back to the Borg ship just in time for Archer to destroy it. In the epilogue Phlox tells Archer that he heard the Borg sending a signal home, but Archer reckons it will take about 200 years to arrive.
Review: Lots of action, but it mostly felt like it made sense and served the story. Honestly better Borg stuff than a lot of it on VOY. Decent Trek, not great, but at least good.
6 out of 10
We open in "the arctic" but I guess maybe there aren't countries any more so whatever. A research crew (a hella heavily armed research crew which is never explained since there are no countries) finds two frozen Borg along with some debris. They take them inside and thaw them out. After performing some scans and leaving one of the scientists alone with them one of the Borg wakes up and jams him with nano prods. The rest of the researchers show up but their weapons are ineffective. Cut to Enterprise where they get news that the Borg (a name which is never spoken, yay for that) have stolen a ship and modified the engines so it can travel at warp. Of course they for some reason head straight for Enterprise so they are ordered to intercept. They find the Borg ship attacking a transport ship and only manage to save two people from it. But they are infected with nanoprobes. Phlox tries to treat them but when they awaken he is injected with the probes. Luckily for everybody on Enterprise the assimilation doesn't work quickly on him. The Borg get to work on Enterprise and manage to infect many systems and make Borg stuff appear out of nowhere. Malcolm and his team try shooting the drones but their weapons are useless so Archer has them evacuate and he blows the hatches flushing is recent crew into space.
Archer is clearly upset by this and is determined to try and get back the researchers from earth. He has Malcolm modify phase pistols to pack more punch and comes up with a plan to get onto the Borg ship and disable it from the inside. Their weapons work at first but of course the Borg adapt. While they are fighting Phlox has come up with a plan to kill the probes with a lot of radiation. Of course this isn't going to be easy on his body, but he is starting to hear the hive mind and acts quickly. Archer and Malcolm find one of the researchers and Archer realizes she is no longer human and decides they have to just destroy the ship. They plant a bomb before beaming back just as Trip gets weapons working on Enterprise. Luckily for them (and for no clear reason) the drones who had recently beamed to Enterprise beam back to the Borg ship just in time for Archer to destroy it. In the epilogue Phlox tells Archer that he heard the Borg sending a signal home, but Archer reckons it will take about 200 years to arrive.
Review: Lots of action, but it mostly felt like it made sense and served the story. Honestly better Borg stuff than a lot of it on VOY. Decent Trek, not great, but at least good.
6 out of 10
Thursday, January 26, 2017
ENT: Cogenitor
Well, they found a way to make Archer less likable. All they had to do was have him refuse asylum to a possible slave and then blame the guy who helped her when she commits suicide. Ok, lets step back a second, I used female pronouns there because the progenitor seems to prefer that to the it she is referred to by her owner/masters. The big problem in this story is it felt like maybe they changed directions on the story at some point in the process and instead of having this be an interesting exploration into different sexual patterns it turned into a civil rights episode gone horribly wrong. This all seems especially horrible because it really felt like the only reason Archer refused asylum was because it might mess up his bromance with their captain. The fact that the Vissians had a bunch of tech we know starfleet ends up with makes it seem like starfleet decided to work with them in the end and just let slavery keep happening.
We open with the Enterprise exploring a hypergiant star when another ship emerges from the suns atmosphere and hails them, Their captain is super chill and soon he and Archer are having bro time in a shuttle flying into the sun. Trip starts hanging out with their chief engineer who is super friendly. The engineer and his wife come over for dinner and bring their cogenitor, a third gendered Vissian who is only there to help them have a baby. Trip is fascinated and tries to learn everything he can even sneaking a scanner in to dinner with the family. He learns the congenitor is just as smart as the rest of them but he feels she (he feels it is a she and she seems to agree) is being oppressed since she is not allowed to read or participate in culture or even have a name. He takes things into his own hands and teaches her to read and she becomes fascinated with the idea of being more than just a thing to help make babies. The captains return and she requests asylum but Archer is way to into his bro for that and sends her back. Later the news comes that she committed suicide which is somehow Trip's fault and not Archer's?
Review: The message seemed all backwards in this one and it wasn't great other than that. Really makes me wish I was done with ENT already. Into Darkness is sounding better every day...
1 out of 10
We open with the Enterprise exploring a hypergiant star when another ship emerges from the suns atmosphere and hails them, Their captain is super chill and soon he and Archer are having bro time in a shuttle flying into the sun. Trip starts hanging out with their chief engineer who is super friendly. The engineer and his wife come over for dinner and bring their cogenitor, a third gendered Vissian who is only there to help them have a baby. Trip is fascinated and tries to learn everything he can even sneaking a scanner in to dinner with the family. He learns the congenitor is just as smart as the rest of them but he feels she (he feels it is a she and she seems to agree) is being oppressed since she is not allowed to read or participate in culture or even have a name. He takes things into his own hands and teaches her to read and she becomes fascinated with the idea of being more than just a thing to help make babies. The captains return and she requests asylum but Archer is way to into his bro for that and sends her back. Later the news comes that she committed suicide which is somehow Trip's fault and not Archer's?
Review: The message seemed all backwards in this one and it wasn't great other than that. Really makes me wish I was done with ENT already. Into Darkness is sounding better every day...
1 out of 10
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
ENT: The Breach
I got really worried when early in this episode it looked like it was going to be about Archer being smug and right and lecturing everyone the whole time. Luckily it turned out to be about how obnoxious Denobulans are. Phlox is at least trying to not be insufferable, but the rest of his species don't seem to care. Also they continue to exhibit more super powers like walking on walls. This episode commits a sin that always bothers me whenever TV shows people rock climbing. Three people come to a cliff and all repel at the same time on different ropes. How many ropes did they bring? They didn't seem to each have several hundred meters of rope a few minutes ago. Also, that means they are leaving the rope behind for the next section so they need many sets of three ropes. Also while I am complaining about stupid prop stuff, why do they have lights strapped to their backpacks? They are constantly forced to use a hand to aim them. Why not use flashlights, or like literally all cave climbers, headlamps? Hard to light their faces maybe? Still just comes across as dumb.
We open with Phlox showing off a tribble to Hoshi who is too distracted to give him the important message from his people she is there to deliver for several minutes. Eventually he reads it and go to the captain. It seems a team of Denobulan geologists are deep in a cave system on a planet which just changed governments. The new government has order all aliens out or they start shooting and Enterprise is the only ship in the area so they get to go to the rescue. Trip, Tucker and Malcolm into the caves. As soon as they are gone they get a distress call from a ship with a leaking reactor. They offer to treat the wounded who are of various species and everything goes fine until Phlox sees one alien and stiffens up. He is clearly uncomfortable and finds the man is dying but can be treated. Just then he wakes up and sees Phlox and refuses to be treated by a Denobulan.
Archer shows up when he hears about the dying Antaran and is upset that Phlox is going to honor his patients wishes and not force treatment on him. He orders Phlox to knock the guy out and treat him or be locked up which I guess is supposed to be seen as a good thing? Phlox refuses but eventually realizes it is just racism and talk the guy into being treated (this is skipping most of the episode but really that is all that happened in that part). In the cave they mess up and Travis breaks his ankle and since he is the only experienced climber the other two have no problem without him. They find the scientists who refuse to leave until Trip threatens to shoot them so they all eventually leave. The locals start bombing anyway and Archer has to get extra self righteous.
Review: I get that the message is suppose to be racism is bad, but that isn't exactly the shocking message it may have been in the 60's. Not to mention some serious storytelling problems, especially every time Archer is on screen.
3 out of 10
We open with Phlox showing off a tribble to Hoshi who is too distracted to give him the important message from his people she is there to deliver for several minutes. Eventually he reads it and go to the captain. It seems a team of Denobulan geologists are deep in a cave system on a planet which just changed governments. The new government has order all aliens out or they start shooting and Enterprise is the only ship in the area so they get to go to the rescue. Trip, Tucker and Malcolm into the caves. As soon as they are gone they get a distress call from a ship with a leaking reactor. They offer to treat the wounded who are of various species and everything goes fine until Phlox sees one alien and stiffens up. He is clearly uncomfortable and finds the man is dying but can be treated. Just then he wakes up and sees Phlox and refuses to be treated by a Denobulan.
Archer shows up when he hears about the dying Antaran and is upset that Phlox is going to honor his patients wishes and not force treatment on him. He orders Phlox to knock the guy out and treat him or be locked up which I guess is supposed to be seen as a good thing? Phlox refuses but eventually realizes it is just racism and talk the guy into being treated (this is skipping most of the episode but really that is all that happened in that part). In the cave they mess up and Travis breaks his ankle and since he is the only experienced climber the other two have no problem without him. They find the scientists who refuse to leave until Trip threatens to shoot them so they all eventually leave. The locals start bombing anyway and Archer has to get extra self righteous.
Review: I get that the message is suppose to be racism is bad, but that isn't exactly the shocking message it may have been in the 60's. Not to mention some serious storytelling problems, especially every time Archer is on screen.
3 out of 10
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
ENT: Horizon
A fairly bland episode, but at least it isn't about how amazing Archer is and how everyone should just give up and love him. Well, other than him being right that T'Pol will enjoy monster movies or something. The conflict between Travis and his cargo hauling family actually paid off in this episode as well which helps with the building of the crew as actual people. Trip also seemed genuinely concerned for Travis, something Archer would never stoop to of course. At the same time it was obviously that they would find a way to make Travis' modifications to the Horizon save the day in the end and they do. But that is hardly the dumbest thing this show has done.
We open with Enterprise diverting from its route to do some science and while they are in the area Travis is going to visit his family on the Horizon. When they make contact though he learns his father died 6 weeks earlier to the trip takes on an more serious note. He is greeted by his mom and brother. She is clearly happy to have him there but his brother Paul is more resentful of him leaving than happy to see him. Travis decides to start doing work around the ship which pisses his brother off since he feels like he doesn't need help. Back on Enterprise they waste some time with Trip deciding to screen Frankenstein and T'Pol not wanting to watch it and then enjoying it when she does. The Horizon is attacked by another ship which leaves a beacon/bomb behind before taking off. Travis recognizes it and tells Paul a cruiser will be by in a few days to demand their cargo unless he can modify their weapons to fight them off. But Paul just wants to turn over the cargo and flee so Travis makes the modifications without permission and gets caught. But soon the cruiser shows up and demands the entire ship so Paul lets Travis take the helm and save the day.
Review: A story we have all seen before in various forms but at least it is a coherent story that doesn't make you hate the characters. Travis is starting to turn into an actual character too other than just "I have been in space a long time" guy.
4 out of 10
We open with Enterprise diverting from its route to do some science and while they are in the area Travis is going to visit his family on the Horizon. When they make contact though he learns his father died 6 weeks earlier to the trip takes on an more serious note. He is greeted by his mom and brother. She is clearly happy to have him there but his brother Paul is more resentful of him leaving than happy to see him. Travis decides to start doing work around the ship which pisses his brother off since he feels like he doesn't need help. Back on Enterprise they waste some time with Trip deciding to screen Frankenstein and T'Pol not wanting to watch it and then enjoying it when she does. The Horizon is attacked by another ship which leaves a beacon/bomb behind before taking off. Travis recognizes it and tells Paul a cruiser will be by in a few days to demand their cargo unless he can modify their weapons to fight them off. But Paul just wants to turn over the cargo and flee so Travis makes the modifications without permission and gets caught. But soon the cruiser shows up and demands the entire ship so Paul lets Travis take the helm and save the day.
Review: A story we have all seen before in various forms but at least it is a coherent story that doesn't make you hate the characters. Travis is starting to turn into an actual character too other than just "I have been in space a long time" guy.
4 out of 10
Monday, January 23, 2017
ENT: Judgement
Here is my judgement, this entire show would have been better if they had left Archer to rot on Rura Penthe. He is so arrogant I enjoyed every time he got hit with the pain sticks. Just to start with, he was clearly wrong to decide that the people he picked up were totally innocent and not rebels. How does he know what? We are never given any good reason to think that. So what we are left with is he showed up in Klingon space, helped some rebels and then crippled one of the local law enforcement vessels to make his escape with the fugitives. Yup, sounds like he is a criminal to me. But no, he is justice jesus now so watch out. They got the guy who played Martok to be the defense attorney and he at least acted it well, but that is really all I can say to defend this episode. Honestly this summarizes everything important that happened already so I am going to leave it here.
Review: Bad bad bad. Would be one point lower if not for the guest star.
2 out of 10
Review: Bad bad bad. Would be one point lower if not for the guest star.
2 out of 10
Sunday, January 22, 2017
ENT: The Crossing
Somehow I am not surprised Archer decided to wipe out possibly an entire race of beings. I mean, I get that things were looking pretty bad, but it seems like maybe they could have agreed to try and fix their ship or something like that. The beings seemed totally friendly for a long time but maybe Archer is just racist against non-corporeal life? To go to the positives, it was nice to see them remember things that happened in previous episodes when writing such as the catwalk being more shielded than the rest of the ship. Not clear why the wisps decided attack them one at a time and not start with Archer. Would the crew have been able to tell if it was Archer acting crazy?
We open with Enterprise being surprised by a huge vessel showing up on their tail and only barely showing up on sensors. A door/mouth opens on the ship and it swallows Enterprise while disabling her engines and weapons. Once inside they see ghostly glowing things flying around outside to Archer takes Trip and Malcolm to the inside of the ship in a shuttlepod. When they arrive the atmosphere changes to what they need to breath and don't take of their helmets (smart!) but it doesn't matter because one of the creatures flies into Trip's head. It doesn't stay long and we see him (colored yellow instead of blue like all humans apparently) fly back in. They return to Enterprise and Phlox gives him a clean bill of health. When he returns to duty though the wisp flies back into him and he starts acting weird. Archer finds him gorging on food in the mess hall and the alien inside explains they just want to party man. Well, he says they are explorers too and even lets them go and returns Trip to his body as a show of good faith. But of course Archer decides that means time to get the guns ready.
Soon more and more crew start getting wisped including Malcolm who acts hella creepy to the ladies. T'Pol and Phlox come up with a way to scan for infected people and they are all confined to quarters. Tucker accidentally discovers that going into the catwalk provides protection from the creatures so Archer moves the crew in other than Phlox who turns out to be immune. For no clear reason they send T'Pol in to be wisped but it doesn't take on her. She also learns they are planning to take over the entire crew as their ship is doomed. So Archer decides the only solution is to flood the ship (other than the catwalk) with CO2 and kill everybody (literally not joking) and Phlox will revive them after the wisps are gone. Bear in mind these people are in their quarters all over the ship and are obviously going to suffer brain damage. Trip somehow gets retaken over (never explained) and has a fight with Phlox before he can flood the ship with gas. They start flying away as the aliens follow so Archer destroys their entire ship killing probably tens of thousands of them the end.
Review: Not one to make you have more respect for Archer that's for sure. No way JLP would have pulled a move like this. Not as bad as they come, but not good either.
3 out of 10
We open with Enterprise being surprised by a huge vessel showing up on their tail and only barely showing up on sensors. A door/mouth opens on the ship and it swallows Enterprise while disabling her engines and weapons. Once inside they see ghostly glowing things flying around outside to Archer takes Trip and Malcolm to the inside of the ship in a shuttlepod. When they arrive the atmosphere changes to what they need to breath and don't take of their helmets (smart!) but it doesn't matter because one of the creatures flies into Trip's head. It doesn't stay long and we see him (colored yellow instead of blue like all humans apparently) fly back in. They return to Enterprise and Phlox gives him a clean bill of health. When he returns to duty though the wisp flies back into him and he starts acting weird. Archer finds him gorging on food in the mess hall and the alien inside explains they just want to party man. Well, he says they are explorers too and even lets them go and returns Trip to his body as a show of good faith. But of course Archer decides that means time to get the guns ready.
Soon more and more crew start getting wisped including Malcolm who acts hella creepy to the ladies. T'Pol and Phlox come up with a way to scan for infected people and they are all confined to quarters. Tucker accidentally discovers that going into the catwalk provides protection from the creatures so Archer moves the crew in other than Phlox who turns out to be immune. For no clear reason they send T'Pol in to be wisped but it doesn't take on her. She also learns they are planning to take over the entire crew as their ship is doomed. So Archer decides the only solution is to flood the ship (other than the catwalk) with CO2 and kill everybody (literally not joking) and Phlox will revive them after the wisps are gone. Bear in mind these people are in their quarters all over the ship and are obviously going to suffer brain damage. Trip somehow gets retaken over (never explained) and has a fight with Phlox before he can flood the ship with gas. They start flying away as the aliens follow so Archer destroys their entire ship killing probably tens of thousands of them the end.
Review: Not one to make you have more respect for Archer that's for sure. No way JLP would have pulled a move like this. Not as bad as they come, but not good either.
3 out of 10
Saturday, January 21, 2017
ENT: Canamar
While this episode may sound like some sort of Canadian taffy, it is actually a remake of Conair but with Archer playing Nicholas Cage. Unfortunately it turns out that the only thing worse than Scott Bacula playing Archer, it is him playing Archer playing a tough guy smuggler. At least he doesn't totally lose the fist fight he got into near the end of the episode! Also unfortunately Trip doesn't get to have much of a part since this is clearly an "Archer is a hero" episode. Kinda made me want to go watch Conair is maybe the only really positive thing I can think of about this one.
We open with with the discovery of Shuttlepod 1 drifting in space and the doctor finds human blood on the walls inside. But no bodies so they conclude it was an abduction. It turns out Archer and Trip have been arrested by the Enolians and accused of smuggling. T'Pol figures this out and arranges for their release. But of course as soon as the news that they are being released gets out on the ship two prisoners take over the shuttle but to escape they end up needing Archers help. Since suddenly he is a great pilot he saves the day while convincing them he is a notorious smuggler or something. He gets them to let Trip go but that goes bad when Trip tries to knock out his Nausicaan guard. They are going to dock with a shuttle, escape and leave everyone else to die but somehow the shuttle is full of Enterprise crew who save everyone on board but Archer has to be hero guy so he stays for a while for no clear reason and then gets into a fist fight trying to save the main bad guy. He fails but gets away with his life.
Review: Not a great episode, but not offensively bad. Pretty average for ENT at this point.
4 out of 10
We open with with the discovery of Shuttlepod 1 drifting in space and the doctor finds human blood on the walls inside. But no bodies so they conclude it was an abduction. It turns out Archer and Trip have been arrested by the Enolians and accused of smuggling. T'Pol figures this out and arranges for their release. But of course as soon as the news that they are being released gets out on the ship two prisoners take over the shuttle but to escape they end up needing Archers help. Since suddenly he is a great pilot he saves the day while convincing them he is a notorious smuggler or something. He gets them to let Trip go but that goes bad when Trip tries to knock out his Nausicaan guard. They are going to dock with a shuttle, escape and leave everyone else to die but somehow the shuttle is full of Enterprise crew who save everyone on board but Archer has to be hero guy so he stays for a while for no clear reason and then gets into a fist fight trying to save the main bad guy. He fails but gets away with his life.
Review: Not a great episode, but not offensively bad. Pretty average for ENT at this point.
4 out of 10
Friday, January 20, 2017
ENT: Future Tense
Never a good sign when the episode has a "clever" title, but this one isn't awful. I guess they probably had a meeting about how just ripping off/referencing Trek was getting boring so they had to make a Dr. Who reference with a time machine that is larger on the inside. Much like the Andorians I actually liked the inclusion of the Tholians in this episode. I haven't watched Tholian Web in a while, but they weren't totally new at the time if I recall (I checked, this is correct and the ships even look similar). The only serious question about this episode is how Enterprise found this ship first if it is so easy for the Tholians and Suliban to track down. The temporal radiation scenes aren't over used either and largely worked.
We open with Enterprise finding a small ship drifting through. Sensors can't pierce the hull so of course Archer has to personally pry the thing open to see what's inside. Turns out to be a dead human and not much else. Phlox discovers the guy is human, but also has Vulcan and several other species DNA. Trip and Malcolm are given the job of examining the ship and find a passage in the floor that leads to a ship as big as Enterprise but they are already inside Enterprise. They tell Archer and he decides to break into Daniels database of future events and discover that the ship is from 800 years in the future. The Suliban show up to try and claim the ship but only send a weak scout ship which Enterprise bests quickly. But more Suliban and Tholians show up to try and claim it. Archer orders the ships beacon activated and Trip manages to turn it on, but nothing happens. They rig the ship to explode (with some time radiation shenanigans) but that plan fails instantly.Luckily the ship and all evidence along with it disappear probably into the future. T'Pol continues to deny that time travel is possible.
Review: Not awful, but needed something a bit more to get it up to average. So decent, by ENT standards. Certainly not the worst temporal cold war ep.
4 out of 10
We open with Enterprise finding a small ship drifting through. Sensors can't pierce the hull so of course Archer has to personally pry the thing open to see what's inside. Turns out to be a dead human and not much else. Phlox discovers the guy is human, but also has Vulcan and several other species DNA. Trip and Malcolm are given the job of examining the ship and find a passage in the floor that leads to a ship as big as Enterprise but they are already inside Enterprise. They tell Archer and he decides to break into Daniels database of future events and discover that the ship is from 800 years in the future. The Suliban show up to try and claim the ship but only send a weak scout ship which Enterprise bests quickly. But more Suliban and Tholians show up to try and claim it. Archer orders the ships beacon activated and Trip manages to turn it on, but nothing happens. They rig the ship to explode (with some time radiation shenanigans) but that plan fails instantly.Luckily the ship and all evidence along with it disappear probably into the future. T'Pol continues to deny that time travel is possible.
Review: Not awful, but needed something a bit more to get it up to average. So decent, by ENT standards. Certainly not the worst temporal cold war ep.
4 out of 10
Thursday, January 19, 2017
ENT: Cease Fire
I am of two minds about this episode. First of all I am so done with this shows worshiping obsession with Archer being a hero. He is just not written or acted that way and it makes the show seem silly when people treat him like he just is a hero. At the same time the Vulcan/Andorian feud is one of the only interesting bits of story this show has going for it making this an at least interesting episode. Last time it turned out the Vulcans were the jerk and this time it is the Andorians which I also appreciated. Too often the Vulcans are just obviously wrong and acting illogically so it is nice to see them come off as at least somewhat reasonable. At the same time I am not sure the ambassador should have let himself get bullied like he did, but I guess Archer had to be right or there wouldn't be an episode.
We open with Commander Shran telling his subordinates to get Archer to help negotiate a cease fire with the Vulcans. Archer gets ordered in to help but the Vulcan ambassador who is pissed he is there. Archer goes down to the surface and gets Shran to agree to the Vulcan ambassador coming down to negotiate. They both claim some moon and are willing go to war over it maybe. Or at least some of them are. Archer convinces the ambassador to come down on a shuttle but it gets shot down. It turns out the second in command of the Andorians isn't interested in peace, but Archer calls her out for it in front of her leader and he agrees to peace talks or something.
Review: I find it hard to focus on episodes where Archer is supposed to be an inspirational figure when he barely manage to bumble by most times. Still not a terrible episode, but as you can tell from the summary not much actually happened.
4 out of 10
We open with Commander Shran telling his subordinates to get Archer to help negotiate a cease fire with the Vulcans. Archer gets ordered in to help but the Vulcan ambassador who is pissed he is there. Archer goes down to the surface and gets Shran to agree to the Vulcan ambassador coming down to negotiate. They both claim some moon and are willing go to war over it maybe. Or at least some of them are. Archer convinces the ambassador to come down on a shuttle but it gets shot down. It turns out the second in command of the Andorians isn't interested in peace, but Archer calls her out for it in front of her leader and he agrees to peace talks or something.
Review: I find it hard to focus on episodes where Archer is supposed to be an inspirational figure when he barely manage to bumble by most times. Still not a terrible episode, but as you can tell from the summary not much actually happened.
4 out of 10
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
ENT: Stigma
The decision to make T'Pol make no sense is one that they seem determined to stick with. I guess they saw that Spock was embarrased about Pon farr and decided all Vulcans must be embarrassed about all medical things going forward. Also they have finally at least given a reason why Vulcans aren't just mindmelding all the time. Presumably they got over it by the time Spock was around since he openly does it all the damn time. It also seems to be a part of their ritual transferring of a mind when one dies, but maybe it is a slightly different thing. This would hardly be the first time they made an inexplicable decision on ENT.
We open with T'Pol and Phlox discussing the fact that she has Pa'nar syndrome and will die without treatment. But being a logical Vulcan she insists he keep it a secret but he insists on trying to get information about it from the Vulcan doctors at a conference they are flying to. They arrive and we kick of the B story of Phlox's second wife trying hard to bang Trip who isn't into it. Phlox tries to get the information without revealing T'Pol's secret, but they figure it out anyway. It seems Pa'nar is only passed by Vulcans who mindmeld, a practice they consider disruptive to Vulcan society and therefore refuse to treat her. She is also set to be recalled to planet Vulcan and her career is over. She decides that now is the time to protect the asshole who mind-raped her and refuses to acknowledge that he did it against her will. One of the Vulcan doctors turns out to be a secret melder as well and offers some help, but Archer demands a formal hearing at the same time. At the hearing the doctor admits to being a melder and ends his career but also reveals T'Pol was forced into it which saves hers. So of course despite now having hope of not death she is bummed out at the end.
Review: I really think they need to sit down and decide what the deal with Vulcans is going to be on this show. The regular alternation between sweet saviors and racist assholes isn't really working.
3 out of 10
We open with T'Pol and Phlox discussing the fact that she has Pa'nar syndrome and will die without treatment. But being a logical Vulcan she insists he keep it a secret but he insists on trying to get information about it from the Vulcan doctors at a conference they are flying to. They arrive and we kick of the B story of Phlox's second wife trying hard to bang Trip who isn't into it. Phlox tries to get the information without revealing T'Pol's secret, but they figure it out anyway. It seems Pa'nar is only passed by Vulcans who mindmeld, a practice they consider disruptive to Vulcan society and therefore refuse to treat her. She is also set to be recalled to planet Vulcan and her career is over. She decides that now is the time to protect the asshole who mind-raped her and refuses to acknowledge that he did it against her will. One of the Vulcan doctors turns out to be a secret melder as well and offers some help, but Archer demands a formal hearing at the same time. At the hearing the doctor admits to being a melder and ends his career but also reveals T'Pol was forced into it which saves hers. So of course despite now having hope of not death she is bummed out at the end.
Review: I really think they need to sit down and decide what the deal with Vulcans is going to be on this show. The regular alternation between sweet saviors and racist assholes isn't really working.
3 out of 10
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
ENT: Dawn
Honestly if ENT wants to stick with doing cut rate knockoffs of other series greatest hits it will at least be better than when they try to get too creative. This one is clearly a reference to Darmok and luckily they changed it plenty along the way so it isn't just a shot by shot remake. In this case the aliens think they hate humans and have to learn to not hate us. Also language is a barrier, but in a more realistic way which didn't bother me at all. It is a little obnoxious that this is another episode about accidentally wandering into someone else's space and getting in trouble, but I guess there would be a lot of hostile civilizations with varying methods of communication.
The episode opens with Trip alone in a shuttlepod working on an antonavigation program. He gets a staticy call from Enterprise that a ship is approaching him, but the signal is soon jammed. Moments later he starts taking fire and flies into the atmosphere on a moon which kills his engines and he is forced to make a landing. Enterprise meanwhile encounters the mothership belonging to the notoriously hostile Arkonians, at least according to T'Pol. The Arkonian captain demands that they leave and Archer agrees, but only after the find Trip. It turns out the Arkonian shuttle crashed as well and they hesitantly agree to help with the search of the planets 62 moons. On the surface Trip is working on a transmitter when he is attacked the pilot of the Arkonian shuttle who steals his transmitter and disappears. Trip gets the drop on him later though and gets the gun, but when he shows mercy he is tripped and taken prisoner. The Arkonian forces him to work on the transmitter and the two begin to learn simple words in each others language. The Arkonian even heals Trip's wound when he is injured. But when Trip tries untying him so they can work together he is attacked again but in the end throws the gun down a cliff and the two start working as a team. They carry the transmitter up a hill to get better signal and the sun starts to rise along with the temperature. The Arkonian takes it badly and passes out but. Enterprise arrives but Trip refuses to leave the man to be transported to safety and the Arkonians modify a shuttle to his specifications to make the rescue. Phlox saves the Arkonians life and while the captain still insists they leave, the rescued man thanks Trip for saving his life.
Review: Not one to be excited to rewatch, but not particularly bad either. Trip is the only character I actually feel anything for at this point so having him be the main character was a great move.
5 out of 10
The episode opens with Trip alone in a shuttlepod working on an antonavigation program. He gets a staticy call from Enterprise that a ship is approaching him, but the signal is soon jammed. Moments later he starts taking fire and flies into the atmosphere on a moon which kills his engines and he is forced to make a landing. Enterprise meanwhile encounters the mothership belonging to the notoriously hostile Arkonians, at least according to T'Pol. The Arkonian captain demands that they leave and Archer agrees, but only after the find Trip. It turns out the Arkonian shuttle crashed as well and they hesitantly agree to help with the search of the planets 62 moons. On the surface Trip is working on a transmitter when he is attacked the pilot of the Arkonian shuttle who steals his transmitter and disappears. Trip gets the drop on him later though and gets the gun, but when he shows mercy he is tripped and taken prisoner. The Arkonian forces him to work on the transmitter and the two begin to learn simple words in each others language. The Arkonian even heals Trip's wound when he is injured. But when Trip tries untying him so they can work together he is attacked again but in the end throws the gun down a cliff and the two start working as a team. They carry the transmitter up a hill to get better signal and the sun starts to rise along with the temperature. The Arkonian takes it badly and passes out but. Enterprise arrives but Trip refuses to leave the man to be transported to safety and the Arkonians modify a shuttle to his specifications to make the rescue. Phlox saves the Arkonians life and while the captain still insists they leave, the rescued man thanks Trip for saving his life.
Review: Not one to be excited to rewatch, but not particularly bad either. Trip is the only character I actually feel anything for at this point so having him be the main character was a great move.
5 out of 10
Monday, January 16, 2017
ENT: The Catwalk
I had to stop and really think about this episode after I was done watching it. Upon reflection I think this would be a solidly average episode of any Trek series which is high praise in this land of ENT suffering. There is a decent A story with some B storyish elements and some actual character bits that actually make the crew more likable. Even Archer isn't totally insufferable which is a relief. I also liked the twist that the aliens from the open are actually not the bad guys trying to take over the ship. So often on this show the obvious and or dumb idea is the correct one and that is that. Also nice to see them do something other than the old fake warp core breach to solve their problems. Sure, it is a good tactic, but they have done it at least twice already and this is only halfway through the second season (oh god, shouldn't have thought about that right now).
We open with Archer getting ready to go on a scouting mission when they are hailed by an alien vessel. The aliens ask for shelter from the huge neutronic storm that is bearing down on them at warp 7. The storm is dangerous enough that the crew won't be safe unless they all go into the access tubes in the nacelles, the catwalk. They have a few days to prepare and the crew are all moved in along with Portho plus Phlox's menagerie. The aliens from the opening show up we quickly learn they aren't all they seem, but we don't learn their secret (almost like they are trying to tell a story here or something). The storm arrives and after some bumps the crew starts settling in. However soon the engines start turning on which is bad for two reasons, they didn't do it and the access tube they are living in will turn into an oven if the reactors come all the way online. Trip goes out to investigate in a rad suit and discovers there are visitors. Archer questions their alien guests who explain they are actually deserters/refugees from the militia who seized the ship. Archer comes up with a plan to tell the maybe bad guys that he is alone to see how the react and then steer the ship to its doom if they don't leave. It works and Travis manages to keep them safe. There is a fun scene with the crew all watching a western and T'Pol figures out what is going on much better than Trip.
Review: Not super memorable for most Trek series, but honestly pretty decent for ENT. Might even make a top ten list which is hella sad! But still, not bad, hope there are more like this.
5 out of 10
We open with Archer getting ready to go on a scouting mission when they are hailed by an alien vessel. The aliens ask for shelter from the huge neutronic storm that is bearing down on them at warp 7. The storm is dangerous enough that the crew won't be safe unless they all go into the access tubes in the nacelles, the catwalk. They have a few days to prepare and the crew are all moved in along with Portho plus Phlox's menagerie. The aliens from the opening show up we quickly learn they aren't all they seem, but we don't learn their secret (almost like they are trying to tell a story here or something). The storm arrives and after some bumps the crew starts settling in. However soon the engines start turning on which is bad for two reasons, they didn't do it and the access tube they are living in will turn into an oven if the reactors come all the way online. Trip goes out to investigate in a rad suit and discovers there are visitors. Archer questions their alien guests who explain they are actually deserters/refugees from the militia who seized the ship. Archer comes up with a plan to tell the maybe bad guys that he is alone to see how the react and then steer the ship to its doom if they don't leave. It works and Travis manages to keep them safe. There is a fun scene with the crew all watching a western and T'Pol figures out what is going on much better than Trip.
Review: Not super memorable for most Trek series, but honestly pretty decent for ENT. Might even make a top ten list which is hella sad! But still, not bad, hope there are more like this.
5 out of 10
Sunday, January 15, 2017
ENT: Precious Cargo
An episode where Trip gets to rescue (and have sex with) a princess and that is by far the least offensive part of the episode is going to be interesting. I have come to the realization that the better ENT episodes are often cliched stories. Here is the thing, at least cliched stories are actually stories. A lot of ENT doesn't even seem like episodes of actual television. The bad part of this episode for me was Archer staging an capital punishment trial to get some guy to give them a little bit of information. Honestly it seemed like he probably didn't have the information any way and would have been more likely to just tell them something to save his life. But I guess Archer got told about anything like the Geneva Conventions or anything like that. Also, WTF, T'Pol takes part in this murder charade? That seems totally unreasonable and wildly out of character.
We open with Trip hanging out in his quarters playing harmonica when the ship suddenly drops out of warp. He sees an alien vessel outside as the captain calls him to assist with repairs on the alien ship. No one thinks it is strange that their repair request is for a stasis pod with one passenger inside. While Archer dines with the captain of the stricken vessel Trip works on the pod whose occupant suddenly awakens and he manages to get her out only to realize that her hands are tied. One of the aliens hits him over the head and takes off with the ship stranding his comrade on Enterprise. Trip manages to get the universal translator going and figures out she is a kidnapped princess. She resists going with him but realizes it is her best shot. They manage to steal an escape pod and after a few hours crammed together they land on a swamp planet. Trip gets to show off his survival skills and after a fight the two start kissing and fade to black. On Enterprise Archer sets up a show trial to threaten his prisoner with execution to get the warp signature of the missing ship. On the planet Trip figures out there is a homing beacon on the escape pod when it starts beeping. He and the princess set up an ambush though and defeat the bad guy. Archer then shows up and they get the princess back home with an invitation to Trip to take a visit after she assumes the throne.
Review: This was at least in general a fun episode to watch. Not that it is a good episode, just not actively unpleasant most of the time. That is the parts that aren't Archer committing war crimes at least.
4 out of 10
We open with Trip hanging out in his quarters playing harmonica when the ship suddenly drops out of warp. He sees an alien vessel outside as the captain calls him to assist with repairs on the alien ship. No one thinks it is strange that their repair request is for a stasis pod with one passenger inside. While Archer dines with the captain of the stricken vessel Trip works on the pod whose occupant suddenly awakens and he manages to get her out only to realize that her hands are tied. One of the aliens hits him over the head and takes off with the ship stranding his comrade on Enterprise. Trip manages to get the universal translator going and figures out she is a kidnapped princess. She resists going with him but realizes it is her best shot. They manage to steal an escape pod and after a few hours crammed together they land on a swamp planet. Trip gets to show off his survival skills and after a fight the two start kissing and fade to black. On Enterprise Archer sets up a show trial to threaten his prisoner with execution to get the warp signature of the missing ship. On the planet Trip figures out there is a homing beacon on the escape pod when it starts beeping. He and the princess set up an ambush though and defeat the bad guy. Archer then shows up and they get the princess back home with an invitation to Trip to take a visit after she assumes the throne.
Review: This was at least in general a fun episode to watch. Not that it is a good episode, just not actively unpleasant most of the time. That is the parts that aren't Archer committing war crimes at least.
4 out of 10
Friday, January 13, 2017
ENT: Vanishing Point
Is the title supposed to be a reference to the audiences level of interest at this point in the show? To start with they had an entire episode about Hoshi, but to make things worse it is an entire episode about her anxieties that turns out the be a dream. Yup. Almost the entire episode took place in 8 seconds. I guess that makes me feel better about the goofy aliens planting a goofy bomb on the ship, but not really. In honor of this dumb, short (at least in terms of actual events) episode, I am going to do a short write up.
Hoshi and Trip are for some reason exploring ancient, abandoned ruins on an alien world when a storm starts approaching rapidly. There isn't time to use the shuttlepod so Archer decides they need to beam up instead. Hoshi is hesitant so Trip volunteers to go first. Everything goes fine but something goes wrong that makes Hoshi have a bad dream about no one being able to see her and dumb aliens trying to blow up the ship, but then Malcolm recovers her signal and it turns out she is fine.
Review: Lots of stuff about Hoshi here but none of it good. Not quite the bottom, but you can see it from here. At least I certainly hope so.
2 out of 10
Hoshi and Trip are for some reason exploring ancient, abandoned ruins on an alien world when a storm starts approaching rapidly. There isn't time to use the shuttlepod so Archer decides they need to beam up instead. Hoshi is hesitant so Trip volunteers to go first. Everything goes fine but something goes wrong that makes Hoshi have a bad dream about no one being able to see her and dumb aliens trying to blow up the ship, but then Malcolm recovers her signal and it turns out she is fine.
Review: Lots of stuff about Hoshi here but none of it good. Not quite the bottom, but you can see it from here. At least I certainly hope so.
2 out of 10
Thursday, January 12, 2017
ENT: Singularity
Having watched as much Trek as I have in the two years I am starting to see a trend in how seasons are arranged. The best episodes (or at least the ones they trust the most) tend to be at the beginning, the middle is the coast phase and more experimental episodes end up at the end. This is clearly a coast phase episode, but in the case of ENT that means it is actually ok. Not like, good, or something, but ok. This seasons contractually obligated episode devoted to space madness is at least fun in that it isn't an exact Naked Time rip off, but the explanation does turn out to be radiation (which you instantly recover from as soon as you move away) which is pretty lame. I honestly wondered how T'Pol was figuring out that there was a problem given how she is routinely treated by the crew.
We open with T'Pol alone on the bridge with all the crew passed out around her. She kinda seems to have given up by that doesn't actually sync well with the end, but maybe they just got too lazy to look back a few pages while writing. It seems she wants to investigate a black hole but Archer has more important needs, his captains chair isn't very comfortable. Also Malcolm is determined to make the crew better at responding to emergencies so they decided to have him invent red alert. Except that was already a thing on navy ships. But whatever, he is inventing it. The crew all start freaking out, especially Phlox who tries to perform brain surgery on Travis. T'Pol figures out what is causing the problem but to get out she needs someone to pilot the ship while she does her scanning thing. So of course it has to be our hero (hahahaha) Archer. She wakes him up from obsessing over a book about his father and throws him into a cold shower until his brain is cured of space radiation. Yes, that is actually what happened. They save the day and everyone is totally fine again. Oh, and it turns out the chair was just mounted too high.
Review: Not terrible, but also wondering if my brain is just going numb because of this show. Two months left, I can do this!
4 out of 10
We open with T'Pol alone on the bridge with all the crew passed out around her. She kinda seems to have given up by that doesn't actually sync well with the end, but maybe they just got too lazy to look back a few pages while writing. It seems she wants to investigate a black hole but Archer has more important needs, his captains chair isn't very comfortable. Also Malcolm is determined to make the crew better at responding to emergencies so they decided to have him invent red alert. Except that was already a thing on navy ships. But whatever, he is inventing it. The crew all start freaking out, especially Phlox who tries to perform brain surgery on Travis. T'Pol figures out what is causing the problem but to get out she needs someone to pilot the ship while she does her scanning thing. So of course it has to be our hero (hahahaha) Archer. She wakes him up from obsessing over a book about his father and throws him into a cold shower until his brain is cured of space radiation. Yes, that is actually what happened. They save the day and everyone is totally fine again. Oh, and it turns out the chair was just mounted too high.
Review: Not terrible, but also wondering if my brain is just going numb because of this show. Two months left, I can do this!
4 out of 10
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
ENT: The Communicator
It seems like every time Archer gets in trouble and you think he has hit the bottom someone throws down a shovel and tells him to keep digging. This is one of those silly "prime directive" episode where something goes wrong and to solve it they need to make everything way worse. Sure they managed to retrieve some lost tech from the surface of this planet, but they did it by showing off their alien tech and leaving behind clear scientific evidence that they have been visited by aliens. Also it seems like they are determined to make Malcolm unlikable again so of course he is the one who messes things up to start with. Finally this seems like one of those problems they could have easily solved with the transporter. We know the communicator is on so how hard can it be to get it to send a signal they can lock on to?
As I mentioned above we open with the realization that a communicator was left behind on an away mission to a pre-warp civilization. And even though the prime directive doesn't exist they decide they have to take the risk of getting it back. Malcolm and the captain return to the surface and waste no time falling into a trap laid by the local army. They are taken in for interrogation but decide lie about knowing anything about the communicator three seconds before having more pulled out of their coats by soldiers. Archer gets beaten up a lot since that is how we do things and Trip comes up with a rescue plan using a Suliban ship they have apparently had on board the entire time which has a functioning cloak. After so cloaking humor they get the rescue going after Archer has been put through a medical exam and determined to be an alien, but since he won't talk they are lined up for execution. Luckily the execution room has an skylight apparently so Trip flies the cloaking pod down and rescues them after a fire fight and of course all their captured tech is in the same room since the locals are idiots and they all get away scott free.
Review: So many bad decisions by Archer are making it clear he is the worst captain of any show. Not that we needed more proof of that, but whatever.
3 out of 10
As I mentioned above we open with the realization that a communicator was left behind on an away mission to a pre-warp civilization. And even though the prime directive doesn't exist they decide they have to take the risk of getting it back. Malcolm and the captain return to the surface and waste no time falling into a trap laid by the local army. They are taken in for interrogation but decide lie about knowing anything about the communicator three seconds before having more pulled out of their coats by soldiers. Archer gets beaten up a lot since that is how we do things and Trip comes up with a rescue plan using a Suliban ship they have apparently had on board the entire time which has a functioning cloak. After so cloaking humor they get the rescue going after Archer has been put through a medical exam and determined to be an alien, but since he won't talk they are lined up for execution. Luckily the execution room has an skylight apparently so Trip flies the cloaking pod down and rescues them after a fire fight and of course all their captured tech is in the same room since the locals are idiots and they all get away scott free.
Review: So many bad decisions by Archer are making it clear he is the worst captain of any show. Not that we needed more proof of that, but whatever.
3 out of 10
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
ENT: The Seventh
We are finally back to episodes that are just not good rather than actively bad and I will freaking take it. I was ready to condemn this episode as just another one where the Vulcans turn out to be liars, but no, T'Pol was just being psychically messed with by the bad guy who is actually a bad guy. It is never really clear if she was right to kill the dude she did many years earlier, but that's fine too. I would rather things be a bit ambiguous than having everything be exactly how it seems and therefore hella dull like it has been lately. It is a little irritating that Archer is still always right despite being a total idiot, but whatever, you can't have everything I guess.
We open with T'Pol getting a secret message from the Vulcans that they have found some guy. She tells Archer he is about to get a message from Starfleet to change course and that she will need a shuttle and some guns to go get a dude. She also tells him she wants him along. And they take Travis but don't mention why. Archer leaves Trip in charge so you know there will be some antics. The dude they are looking for is a Vulcan altered to look like an alien and everyone else like him has been caught, something T'Pol worked on years earlier. They show up on the planet and catch the guy pretty much instantly but then can't leave because they are washing the decks outside or something? T'Pol starts getting visions of shooting the guys friend and freaks the hell out. She tries talking to him but he just messes with her more. So she goes to his ship despite allegedly not being able to and finds that he has no dangerous weapons like she was told. A fight breaks out and he escapes and they all go to his ship since now the dumb reason they can't isn't mentioned any more. At first it looks like she was right but Archer finds the controls for a hidden compartment and he is there with a gun and some bioweapons. He does the dumb thing where he dares her not to shoot him and she doesn't until Archer talks her into it. But since it was on stun it doesn't matter and is dumb.
Review: Sub-standard feels pretty good these days, but it doesn't help this be any better of an episode.
3 out of 10
Monday, January 9, 2017
ENT: Marauders
After what I went through yesterday anything would be an improvement, so even this rather bland episode counts I suppose. I guess this is supposed to be a story about standing up for yourself, but honestly it seems like these guys are just going to get crushed by a larger group of Klingons as soon as Enterprise is a few light years away. If you are going to live in an isolated outpost in an area with raiders, maybe have some sort of self defense plan? I guess this episode could have maybe worked as a western or something like that, but as it is I just don't think it made much sense. Sure they made the bad guys Klingons, but it isn't like it turns out to matter. They might as well have been any of the generic Voyager evil races.
We open on a mining colony where the workers are surprised by the approach of an Enterprise shuttlepod. The miners say they don't have the deuterium Enterprise needs but seem willing to try when Trip offers to try and repair their pumps. I guess they are supposed to be likable, but they mostly seem kinda dumb. Soon we learn why they are poor, Klingons show up and demand deuterium but because of the broken pumps there isn't any but instead of doing anything they just leave angry. Time for Archer to do the Seven Samurai thing, but instead of actually killing the bandits they decide to just show them they can stand up for themselves. This is clearly a horrible plan. On screen at least it works and they drive the bandits away, but they are still poorly armed and the plan only worked because they were willing to destroy the very deuterium they rely on for literally everything to make it work. Enterprise gets what it needs though and flies away.
Review: This is a low grade knock off of Seven Samurai which totally misses the point of the movie. The peasants aren't actually able to stand on their own and if the bandits were alive at the end they would just come back and destroy the village. These miners are doomed and Archer is an idiot.
3 out of 10
We open on a mining colony where the workers are surprised by the approach of an Enterprise shuttlepod. The miners say they don't have the deuterium Enterprise needs but seem willing to try when Trip offers to try and repair their pumps. I guess they are supposed to be likable, but they mostly seem kinda dumb. Soon we learn why they are poor, Klingons show up and demand deuterium but because of the broken pumps there isn't any but instead of doing anything they just leave angry. Time for Archer to do the Seven Samurai thing, but instead of actually killing the bandits they decide to just show them they can stand up for themselves. This is clearly a horrible plan. On screen at least it works and they drive the bandits away, but they are still poorly armed and the plan only worked because they were willing to destroy the very deuterium they rely on for literally everything to make it work. Enterprise gets what it needs though and flies away.
Review: This is a low grade knock off of Seven Samurai which totally misses the point of the movie. The peasants aren't actually able to stand on their own and if the bandits were alive at the end they would just come back and destroy the village. These miners are doomed and Archer is an idiot.
3 out of 10
Sunday, January 8, 2017
ENT: A Night in Sickbay
I was starting to get worried that I was watching the wrong show, but today's episode proved that it is in fact still ENT. And wow, I thought I hated Archer before. Nope. NOW I hate Archer. First of all he takes his damn dog on an away mission to the planet of people who are super touchy about everything and lets Portho take a leak on their holy tree and then can't understand why they are upset about it. He whines and whines to T'Pol until she tells him straight up that she thinks he cares more about his dog than the ship. Which is literally true. Oh, Portho got sick since MAYBE it isn't a good idea to take him on away missions and while Phlox is working on him Archer decides he has to sleep in sickbay. And then he can't understand why Phlox is up all night DOING HIS JOB SINCE PHLOX NEVER SLEEPS. Finally he admit to himself he is attracted to T'Pol which I guess is supposed to be good? He also finally apologizes and gets the parts which we are supposed to be proud of him for? What is he 4 years old? On this upside that is a good summary of the entire episode so I don't have to write one below.
Review: This is by far the worst episode of Star Trek I have watched in the last two years. The captain is horrible to his crew and awful at his job and I wish this show was over all ready.
1 out of 10
Review: This is by far the worst episode of Star Trek I have watched in the last two years. The captain is horrible to his crew and awful at his job and I wish this show was over all ready.
1 out of 10
Saturday, January 7, 2017
ENT: Dead Stop
I am getting worried about ENT. It is like someone snuck into the writers room and replaced all the scripts with something from Star Trek. I am not trying to say this is the greatest episode of all time or honestly even the greatest of ENT this season, but damn it this episode felt like Trek. It had a mystery with a scifi twist, it had adventure and it even had a bit of character! Also the characters are thus far so shallow I would hardly have been surprised if Travis had actually been killed. Especially if the actor wanted out, who could blame him after season one? I really liked the mysterious repair platform and honestly appreciated that it wasn't just another reference to some other Trek. TOS never worried about totally rewriting the universe each episode so why does so much of ENT feel like it is walking on eggshells?
We open with actual consiquences from the previous episode, and this isn't even a two parter. What the hell is this DS9??? But in any case they are limping towards earth so slowly it will take a decade so they decide to put out a call for help. A freighter in the area points them at a repair station which when they arrive begins re-configuring itself to fit their needs. The station seems suspiciously friendly but as far as they can tell it is making a fair offer and only asks that no one enter the area being actively repaired. They are surprised to find full food replicators on board and everything seems to be going smoothly. So smoothly Trip and Malcolm start worrying it is up to something so they start poking around, but as soon as they get near the computer core they are beamed to the bridge of Enterprise where Archer acts pissed, but really wants to know what they found. Travis responds to a call to the shuttle bay from the captain but when he gets there something goes wrong and they find hid body soon after. But Phlox discovers it isn't actually his body but a careful copy and Archer decides to snoop around. He has Trip deliver the payment, a reasonable supply of warp plasma, and do some stalling while he sneaks to the computer with Malcolm and T'Pol. Malcolm triggers the alarm but T'Pol blasts their way through and they find a bunch of aliens attached to the computer along with Travis. They rescue him and escape back to Enterprise but the station is locked onto them. The payment turns out to be a bomb which Malcolm detonates and they blast their way to safety as the station explodes. But after they leave we see it begin to repair itself.
Review: This would have been a very decent TNG episode and is a welcome addition to Trek lore unlike so much of what has come before it.
6 out of 10
We open with actual consiquences from the previous episode, and this isn't even a two parter. What the hell is this DS9??? But in any case they are limping towards earth so slowly it will take a decade so they decide to put out a call for help. A freighter in the area points them at a repair station which when they arrive begins re-configuring itself to fit their needs. The station seems suspiciously friendly but as far as they can tell it is making a fair offer and only asks that no one enter the area being actively repaired. They are surprised to find full food replicators on board and everything seems to be going smoothly. So smoothly Trip and Malcolm start worrying it is up to something so they start poking around, but as soon as they get near the computer core they are beamed to the bridge of Enterprise where Archer acts pissed, but really wants to know what they found. Travis responds to a call to the shuttle bay from the captain but when he gets there something goes wrong and they find hid body soon after. But Phlox discovers it isn't actually his body but a careful copy and Archer decides to snoop around. He has Trip deliver the payment, a reasonable supply of warp plasma, and do some stalling while he sneaks to the computer with Malcolm and T'Pol. Malcolm triggers the alarm but T'Pol blasts their way through and they find a bunch of aliens attached to the computer along with Travis. They rescue him and escape back to Enterprise but the station is locked onto them. The payment turns out to be a bomb which Malcolm detonates and they blast their way to safety as the station explodes. But after they leave we see it begin to repair itself.
Review: This would have been a very decent TNG episode and is a welcome addition to Trek lore unlike so much of what has come before it.
6 out of 10
Friday, January 6, 2017
ENT: Minefield
Holy hell, it is almost like they writers on ENT have actually watched an episode of Star Trek before! Any maybe they even paid attention to what happened and tried to not directly contradict things we were told in TOS. Specifically they don't break with what we were told in Balance of Terror that humanity fought a war with the Romulans and negotiated peace without ever seeing them face to face. The icing on the cake is the fact that their ships even look like the ones in TOS. Sure, they are CGI, but they seem to be the same design in general and not something way more futuristic like some of the Klingon ships we have seen. They also managed to give some story and character to Malcolm which is something I had pretty much given up on. The idea that he is afraid of water seemed kinda silly, but it does at least explain why he is obsessed with navy ships but is in fact not in the navy.
We open with the captain having Malcolm over for breakfast and trying to get some small talk going with him. Malcolm is visibly bothered by all this and is eager to get out of it when the bridge calls with news of an unexplored planet. Archer tells them to drop out of warp to investigate but as soon as they enter orbit there is a huge explosion which knocks out a chunk of the saucer section. Even worse they detect what appears to be a mine lodged to the hull near a fusion generator which Malcolm immediately volunteers to go defuse (which actually makes sense since he is armory guy, had this been season one Hoshi would have gone and taken her shirt of for no reason in the process). Even worse an unidentified ship shows up and starts acting menacing which is extra bad since Hoshi is in the infirmary and the computer can't understand them.
Things get even worse when the mine impales Malcolms leg to the hull of the ship with one of its spikes and the captain goes out to help. Hoshi manages to get the comm logs and gets working on a translation and figures out it is the Romulans and they want Enterprise to leave now. On the outside the captain is working with Malcolm to defuse the mine and manages to drag some actual personal information out of the guy in the process. It seems Malcolm doesn't believe captains and their crew should get to know each other due to his families history with the Royal Navy, but he does admit his fear of water is why he didn't join. He also makes it clear he is willing to sacrifice himself to save the ship. The Romulans get extra pushy so Archer comes up with a plan to activate the mine after separating it from the ship and then cutting Malcolm out before it can explode and using doors from the shuttlepods to shield them from the blast. Despite that seeming like maybe a bad idea it of course works and Malcolm admits he is glad the captain ignored his advice.
Review: This episode manages to have some actual tension in addition to character growth from one of its least developed characters in a way that made me actually like him a bit. Still ENT, but a much better ENT that first season ever gave us.
6 out of 10
We open with the captain having Malcolm over for breakfast and trying to get some small talk going with him. Malcolm is visibly bothered by all this and is eager to get out of it when the bridge calls with news of an unexplored planet. Archer tells them to drop out of warp to investigate but as soon as they enter orbit there is a huge explosion which knocks out a chunk of the saucer section. Even worse they detect what appears to be a mine lodged to the hull near a fusion generator which Malcolm immediately volunteers to go defuse (which actually makes sense since he is armory guy, had this been season one Hoshi would have gone and taken her shirt of for no reason in the process). Even worse an unidentified ship shows up and starts acting menacing which is extra bad since Hoshi is in the infirmary and the computer can't understand them.
Things get even worse when the mine impales Malcolms leg to the hull of the ship with one of its spikes and the captain goes out to help. Hoshi manages to get the comm logs and gets working on a translation and figures out it is the Romulans and they want Enterprise to leave now. On the outside the captain is working with Malcolm to defuse the mine and manages to drag some actual personal information out of the guy in the process. It seems Malcolm doesn't believe captains and their crew should get to know each other due to his families history with the Royal Navy, but he does admit his fear of water is why he didn't join. He also makes it clear he is willing to sacrifice himself to save the ship. The Romulans get extra pushy so Archer comes up with a plan to activate the mine after separating it from the ship and then cutting Malcolm out before it can explode and using doors from the shuttlepods to shield them from the blast. Despite that seeming like maybe a bad idea it of course works and Malcolm admits he is glad the captain ignored his advice.
Review: This episode manages to have some actual tension in addition to character growth from one of its least developed characters in a way that made me actually like him a bit. Still ENT, but a much better ENT that first season ever gave us.
6 out of 10
Thursday, January 5, 2017
ENT: Carbon Creek
It isn't a good sign when my favorite episode so far involves essentially none of the main cast. It also has Vulcan's lying their asses off all over the place but whatever. This is by far the best episode of ENT so far and I really hope this trend continues. Season one was a total train wreck so hopefully season two can continue the trend of improving. It didn't hurt a bit that the town they filmed the episode in reminded me strongly of one of my favorite towns, South Lake Tahoe. And yes, I know it was some town right outside LA, isn't everything in television? I also really liked the idea of a Vulcan deciding to stay behind and live out his life on earth. I actually wish they would go back to him at some future date, but from what I have seen on the Wiki this is highly unlikely. This episode clearly borrows a few things from The Voyage Home, but not in a bad way.
We open with T'Pol about to have dinner with Trip and Archer. The captain asks her about a visit she made to the town of Carbon Creek when she was last on earth and she offers the story of the first Vulcans to visit earth. They are surprised it wasn't the one from FIrst Contact, but she assures them her great grandmother was on earth in the 1950's. A Vulcan ship was there to investigate sputnik when they suffered engine trouble and were forced to land in isolated Pennsylvania. Her grandmother, T'Mir, was in charge after the captain was killed in the crash. She and the two surviving crew, Mestral and Stron. She and Stron head into town to look for supplies and Stron gets some cash by winning a game of pool. They make friends with the bartender and her son who is an aspiring engineer looking to go to college but without much money. Stron starts working odd jobs around town, mostly plumbing, and Mestral gets a job in the local coal mine.
Things seem to be going fine but T'Mir is concerned that Mestral and the bartender are hitting it off romantically. One day there is a collapse in the mines and Mestral insists on saving them with a phaser with T'Mir resists, that assists with. Soon after they learn that the aspiring engineer has failed to get enough money for college so T'Mir sells the idea for velcro to get enough money for him. Soon after they finally hear from a rescue ship by Mestral doesn't want to leave. In the end T'Mir tells the captain of the rescue ship that Mestral was killed and cremated along with the captain and he believes her since Vulcans don't lie. Trip and Archer are incredulous and T'Pol refuses to tell them if the story was true, but that evening she returns to her quarters and unwraps T'Mir's purse from her time on earth.
Review: Damn I wish more of ENT was this good, and maybe it will be. I kinda doubt it, but it was really fun to see Vulcans trapped in the 1950's. I still don't get why they can just lie all the time, but whatever, it worked well for this story.
8 out of 10
We open with T'Pol about to have dinner with Trip and Archer. The captain asks her about a visit she made to the town of Carbon Creek when she was last on earth and she offers the story of the first Vulcans to visit earth. They are surprised it wasn't the one from FIrst Contact, but she assures them her great grandmother was on earth in the 1950's. A Vulcan ship was there to investigate sputnik when they suffered engine trouble and were forced to land in isolated Pennsylvania. Her grandmother, T'Mir, was in charge after the captain was killed in the crash. She and the two surviving crew, Mestral and Stron. She and Stron head into town to look for supplies and Stron gets some cash by winning a game of pool. They make friends with the bartender and her son who is an aspiring engineer looking to go to college but without much money. Stron starts working odd jobs around town, mostly plumbing, and Mestral gets a job in the local coal mine.
Things seem to be going fine but T'Mir is concerned that Mestral and the bartender are hitting it off romantically. One day there is a collapse in the mines and Mestral insists on saving them with a phaser with T'Mir resists, that assists with. Soon after they learn that the aspiring engineer has failed to get enough money for college so T'Mir sells the idea for velcro to get enough money for him. Soon after they finally hear from a rescue ship by Mestral doesn't want to leave. In the end T'Mir tells the captain of the rescue ship that Mestral was killed and cremated along with the captain and he believes her since Vulcans don't lie. Trip and Archer are incredulous and T'Pol refuses to tell them if the story was true, but that evening she returns to her quarters and unwraps T'Mir's purse from her time on earth.
Review: Damn I wish more of ENT was this good, and maybe it will be. I kinda doubt it, but it was really fun to see Vulcans trapped in the 1950's. I still don't get why they can just lie all the time, but whatever, it worked well for this story.
8 out of 10
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
ENT: Shockwave, Part II
Like most two part episodes the second half of this one wasn't as good as the first half. But it wasn't awful so I will take it. I would like to say I am not sure why Hoshi had to be the one to crawl through the ducts to let them all out of their quarters, but clearly it was just an excuse to have her take her clothes off. I am not sure I buy the Suliban being able to easily take over and operate Enterprise, but then again they were fooled by the fake warp core breach. You probably all know by now that I am not a huge fan of the actor playing Archer, but damn he looks good when he is with Daniels. That dude is actually terrible. Still not sure what is going on with future guy, but I actually really liked when Archer jumped through his time portal to kick the Suliban dude in the ass. I am pretty sure this is the first hand to hand engagement that Archer has won in all of ENT so well done.
We open where we left off with Archer trapped in the future and Enterprise surrounded by Suliban. Even though I think the order is reversed in the show I am going to start with the stuff on the ship. T'Pol surrenders to the Suliban and lets them board the ship to search for Archer. Eventually they realize he is gone but there is a temporal signature or something so they take T'Pol in for questioning, but don't get anything from her. In the future Archer has to talk Daniels out of being super depressed that the Federation never existed and after digging through a library they decide to make a communicator across time. Archer calls T'Pol and gets her to organize the rest of the crew to get a piece of equipment from Daniels room. Hoshi has to crawl through the ducts but the plan works and they send Malcolm in with the device. But he is caught, which turns out to be the actual plan. The head Suliban takes the device from Daniels quarters to his time chamber while Trip manages to fake a warp core breach and free Enterprise. Archer jumps through the time portal and beats up the head Suliban getting him to agree to stop attacking Enterprise along the way. Also he destroys the time portal thing. Finally Archer makes it back to Enterprise in a pod and gets told the Vulcans still want to shut Enterprise down. But T'Pol speaks up and it is enough to convince Starfleet to give them another shot.
Review: A decent conclusion to the story they started last episode, but still not much with the temporal cold war or anything like that. The idea of Starfleet shutting them down has also been played out for me at this point, but I guess it gives them a source of tension or whatever.
5 out of 10
We open where we left off with Archer trapped in the future and Enterprise surrounded by Suliban. Even though I think the order is reversed in the show I am going to start with the stuff on the ship. T'Pol surrenders to the Suliban and lets them board the ship to search for Archer. Eventually they realize he is gone but there is a temporal signature or something so they take T'Pol in for questioning, but don't get anything from her. In the future Archer has to talk Daniels out of being super depressed that the Federation never existed and after digging through a library they decide to make a communicator across time. Archer calls T'Pol and gets her to organize the rest of the crew to get a piece of equipment from Daniels room. Hoshi has to crawl through the ducts but the plan works and they send Malcolm in with the device. But he is caught, which turns out to be the actual plan. The head Suliban takes the device from Daniels quarters to his time chamber while Trip manages to fake a warp core breach and free Enterprise. Archer jumps through the time portal and beats up the head Suliban getting him to agree to stop attacking Enterprise along the way. Also he destroys the time portal thing. Finally Archer makes it back to Enterprise in a pod and gets told the Vulcans still want to shut Enterprise down. But T'Pol speaks up and it is enough to convince Starfleet to give them another shot.
Review: A decent conclusion to the story they started last episode, but still not much with the temporal cold war or anything like that. The idea of Starfleet shutting them down has also been played out for me at this point, but I guess it gives them a source of tension or whatever.
5 out of 10
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
ENT: Shockwave
Wow, finally an episode that actually feels like an episode of Star Trek! I had just about given up on such a thing. Now it is still hardly perfect, but it at least made some sense and even managed to make the temporal cold war at least a little bit interesting. I like the idea that the time travelers don't know everything as well. It was getting pretty bland when everything he said was true and worked perfectly. The raid on the Suliban ship actually made sense in the context of the story which was great. So often this show seems to throw in some action when it really doesn't make any sense. I do hope they had an interesting idea for how to conclude this two parter, but for now I am just enjoying having watched a not entirely terrible episode of ENT.
We open with Enterprise arriving at a matriarchal mining colony and Trip is of course excited to visit. They get a shuttlepod prepped and spend some time going over local procedures. But when they enter the atmosphere something goes wrong and they end up lighting up the atmosphere and killing everyone on the surface. Starfleet is understandably pissed and demands that Enterprise return home. Archer is super depressed and takes it out on his crew because he is a terrible captain. When he goes to bed though Archer finds himself ten months earlier on earth. Crewman Daniels appears despite having died a while ago and tells him that this is temporal cold war business. When Archer leaves his cabin a few hours later he calls the senior staff together. He has Trip get working on beacons to reveal cloaked ships and gets Malcolm to locate a device on the shuttle that caused the disaster. They return to the area and locate a cloaked vessel. Archer, Trip and T'Pol head to the cloaked ship after Enterprise disables her with weapons and steal some data disks. We see the Suliban leader get yelled at by future guy and get instructed to bring Archer back. They surround Enterprise with attack drones or something and demand Archer. He puts T'Pol in command and heads over to surrender (would Kirk have done this???). But before he can he finds himself in the ruins of the 31st century where Daniels tells him a disaster has happened and all the time travel equipment is gone and they are screwed.
Review: A actually decent episode, I may regret this later but I think it is even slightly above average for Trek. Possibly if part II turns out awful I may revise this score, but for now:
6 out of 10
We open with Enterprise arriving at a matriarchal mining colony and Trip is of course excited to visit. They get a shuttlepod prepped and spend some time going over local procedures. But when they enter the atmosphere something goes wrong and they end up lighting up the atmosphere and killing everyone on the surface. Starfleet is understandably pissed and demands that Enterprise return home. Archer is super depressed and takes it out on his crew because he is a terrible captain. When he goes to bed though Archer finds himself ten months earlier on earth. Crewman Daniels appears despite having died a while ago and tells him that this is temporal cold war business. When Archer leaves his cabin a few hours later he calls the senior staff together. He has Trip get working on beacons to reveal cloaked ships and gets Malcolm to locate a device on the shuttle that caused the disaster. They return to the area and locate a cloaked vessel. Archer, Trip and T'Pol head to the cloaked ship after Enterprise disables her with weapons and steal some data disks. We see the Suliban leader get yelled at by future guy and get instructed to bring Archer back. They surround Enterprise with attack drones or something and demand Archer. He puts T'Pol in command and heads over to surrender (would Kirk have done this???). But before he can he finds himself in the ruins of the 31st century where Daniels tells him a disaster has happened and all the time travel equipment is gone and they are screwed.
Review: A actually decent episode, I may regret this later but I think it is even slightly above average for Trek. Possibly if part II turns out awful I may revise this score, but for now:
6 out of 10
Monday, January 2, 2017
ENT: Two Days and Two Nights
I didn't know it was possible to make an entire episode out of B stories, but ENT managed to prove me wrong. I guess it was at least a little clever to have Hoshi be the only one to end up enjoying her time on Risa in the "traditional" manner. Also it seemed like Picard was pretty unaware of Risa in Captain's Holiday which made me assume it wasn't a place starfleet spent much time at, but no, it turns out they have been going there since Enterprise. I actually really appreciated that they didn't talk about horga'hns the entire time. They are present in the background a few times and the door switch in Archers villa. Dragging the temporal cold war into it was totally silly though and didn't add to the episode one bit. Especially since they don't actually move that story forward, at all.
We open with Enterprise finally making it to Risa and Archer heading to the surface in a shuttle with Trip, Malcolm, Travis and Hoshi. Trip and Malcolm are just there for the ladies, Travis wants to go rock climbing, and Hoshi wants to work on her language skills. Archer and Portho get checked into their room and he quickly notices a beautiful woman with a dog on her balcony near to his window. Somehow her dog makes its way onto his balcony and she comes up to get it (they never actually bother to explain how the dog managed to fly to my memory, but whatever). The two of them hit it off quickly. Trip and Malcolm meanwhile pick up some ladies in a bar but it turns out they are shapeshifters who knocked them out and steal their stuff. Hoshi ends up hooking up with some dude and stays the night with him. On Enterprise Phlox decides to do his hibernation since nothing is going on so of course Travis gets hurt and has a bad reaction so Phlox has to be awoken and is comically out of it. The lady Archer was hooking up with of course is an anti-Suliban agent who tries to get information out of Archer before knocking him out. They all joke about their adventures on the way back to Enterprise the end.
Review: While not as openly annoying or bland as some episodes this one really feels like it is missing an actual plot to make it work as an episode. Some fun character moments save it from being truly abysmal at least.
4 out of 10
We open with Enterprise finally making it to Risa and Archer heading to the surface in a shuttle with Trip, Malcolm, Travis and Hoshi. Trip and Malcolm are just there for the ladies, Travis wants to go rock climbing, and Hoshi wants to work on her language skills. Archer and Portho get checked into their room and he quickly notices a beautiful woman with a dog on her balcony near to his window. Somehow her dog makes its way onto his balcony and she comes up to get it (they never actually bother to explain how the dog managed to fly to my memory, but whatever). The two of them hit it off quickly. Trip and Malcolm meanwhile pick up some ladies in a bar but it turns out they are shapeshifters who knocked them out and steal their stuff. Hoshi ends up hooking up with some dude and stays the night with him. On Enterprise Phlox decides to do his hibernation since nothing is going on so of course Travis gets hurt and has a bad reaction so Phlox has to be awoken and is comically out of it. The lady Archer was hooking up with of course is an anti-Suliban agent who tries to get information out of Archer before knocking him out. They all joke about their adventures on the way back to Enterprise the end.
Review: While not as openly annoying or bland as some episodes this one really feels like it is missing an actual plot to make it work as an episode. Some fun character moments save it from being truly abysmal at least.
4 out of 10
Sunday, January 1, 2017
ENT: Desert Crossing
Now suddenly Archer once again believes that he shouldn't interfere in the affairs of other cultures. This is especially jarring since they directly reference the recent episode where he did just that. I guess this is supposed to be leading the way to the prime directive but it just didn't work at all. The real problem in this episode is that Archer decides he and Trip need to leave Zobral's camp for no clear reason and then spend literally half the episode almost dying in the desert due to one poor decision after another until they get rescued by T'Pol. Also it seems like the writers think the only risk of being in a desert is lack of water which just makes the character look extra stupid.
We open with Enterprise again on her way to Risa when they get a distress call. They help out the extremely friendly Zobral who invites them back to his world. Archer is hesitant but agrees and heads to the surface with Trip. They have a nice meal and Trip seems to be settling in. Next they get challenged to a game of desert lacrosse but midgame Archer gets a call from T'Pol. It seems the local government considers Zobral a terrorist. He tells Archer he is part of the former lower caste which is still actively oppressed on his world and he was hoping to get Archers help after what he did for the Suliban. But this time Archer refuses just at the government attacks. Archer leads Trip into the desert where they wander around until T'Pol rescues them.
Review: Yup, the summary above is pretty complete. Not a great episode which raises significant questions about previous questionable episodes.
3 out of 10
We open with Enterprise again on her way to Risa when they get a distress call. They help out the extremely friendly Zobral who invites them back to his world. Archer is hesitant but agrees and heads to the surface with Trip. They have a nice meal and Trip seems to be settling in. Next they get challenged to a game of desert lacrosse but midgame Archer gets a call from T'Pol. It seems the local government considers Zobral a terrorist. He tells Archer he is part of the former lower caste which is still actively oppressed on his world and he was hoping to get Archers help after what he did for the Suliban. But this time Archer refuses just at the government attacks. Archer leads Trip into the desert where they wander around until T'Pol rescues them.
Review: Yup, the summary above is pretty complete. Not a great episode which raises significant questions about previous questionable episodes.
3 out of 10
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