Just like the first time I watched this movie I really wanted to like it. The first 45 minutes is honestly pretty great, but just like The Motion Picture it just bogs down in a story that doesn't go any where and festers for the rest of its screen time. Basically I am on board until the attack on the captains which was a cool scene, but the torpedoes with people in them? What? Why would you give Kirk Khan's crew? Do they literally only have those 72 torpedoes? And what is the deal with Carol Marcus? Did she just walk onto the shuttle and Kirk was so into her he didn't even bother to read the orders? I ask this because she is using a fake name, had she been acting on her fathers orders it would have been easy to grasp, but she clearly isn't. And then the central premise of the film, that Khan was there to design weapons, what? That makes no sense, weapon design isn't about ruthlessness, it is about technical skill and inattentiveness. Also, one of my objections to JJ Abrams is that he thinks you can see any planet from anywhere in the galaxy, but then he sets the climactic fight between Marcus/Khan and Kirk at the moon. You know you actually can see that from earth so if Marcus was going to murder literally everyone on Enterprise it would literally be visible from Starfleet headquarters which seems like maybe a poor choice. Finally, the entire scene with Spock chasing Khan is dumb and unnessesary. The film should have ended with Khan ship destroyed and Kirk dead. It is a moving scene even if it didn't need Spock pulling a Shatner. This movie is a mess and while I enjoyed some scenes it fits right in with the TNG movies in terms of not making a damn lick of sense and being another reboot of Wrath.
We open with a classic Kirk violating the prime directive by saving a primitive people from destruction by a volcano but having to fly Enterprise in front of them to save Spock at the last minute. And then Spock puts it in his report so Kirk gets busted back to the Academy? Is that really how it works, you are either a captain or a recruit? Of course that doesn't last long as he is drafted by Pike as his first officer. Khan meanwhile saves a child to get her father to set off a bomb in a secret Section 31 facility in London which means Kirk gets dragged to an all senior staff crisis meeting. Which is a set up for Khan to kill them all and then beam to Qo'noS which they didn't know he would do but is entirely vital to Marcus' evil plan.
And this is where the movie totally falls off the rails. Kirk gets sent to kill Khan with these super torpedoes that for some reason Scotty is willing to quit Starfleet rather than bring into Enterprise. They fly to the Klingon homeworld and lose warp engines due to sabotage but there are luckily literally no Klingon ships near their homeworld to notice which is nice I guess, but also hella dumb. They take an unarmed shuttle to the surface but are suddenly attacked by Klingon ships (wait, what???) but Khan saves them and then surrenders since luckily for him Kirk ignores his orders. Khan talks Kirk into opening a torpedo where he finds one of Khan's frozen crew for some reason. Then Marcus shows up with his dreadnought to destroy Enterprise but they manage to get away but are shot out of warp right by the moon (why were they still at warp there, and how can they not just call Earth????).
They have the big showdown where Scotty has somehow, despite leaving Starfleet, gotten onto the dreadnought by just flying a shuttle into it because that is how evil military bases work. Kirk takes Khan on board who of course kills Marcus and takes over the dreadnought but sends Kirk back to Enterprise because he is dumb. Spock is at least slightly clever so when Khan demands his crew back Spock sends him the torpedoes minus crew, but armed to explode (which you think the dreadnoughts sensors would detect, but come on, this movie is way past caring about making sense). The dreadnought explodes and Enterprise falls to Earth forcing Kirk to sacrifice himself to get the engines working again. Kirk dies and the dreadnought crashes instead so Spock goes to stop him. Chase scene with Uhura ex-machina at the end stopping Khan but also getting his blood which magically saves Kirk?????
Review: This movie is a mess and honestly not that fun to watch. Probably between Insurrection and Nemesis on the Trek movie scale. Not dull like The Motion Picture, but that isn't really a good thing.
3 out of 10
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